The Red Head

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.


"I'm sure that must have embarrassed you so let me pay for your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks.They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he listens, he shares his and she listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed and totally impressed. Everything had been so incredible!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "

"No," she replies. . . .

?

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
"You just happened to catch my eye."

League Update

The league is almost full with 40 participants paying either all or part of the requested $$.

Yellow team has 10 spots filled.

Red team has 9 spots filled.

Black team has 9 spots filled.

White team has 12 spots filled. Congratulations White all players have paid in full!!

40 of 44 positions paid with the next 4 to pay will play.

One Goalie and 3 skaters spots have yet to be filled (paid for).

Thank you!!

Fairy Tale

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch.......







But this was a long long long time ago.....
and it was just the ONE day.

The End

PHL Schedule

The schedule for the upcoming weeks

Noon One
September 22, 2007 Red vs White Gold vs Black
September 29, 2007 Black vs White Gold vs Red
October 6, 2007 Black vs Gold White vs Red
October 13, 2007 White vs Gold Black vs Red
October 20, 2007 Red vs Gold Black vs White
October 27, 2007 Red vs Black Gold vs White
November 3, 2007 Gold vs Black Red vs White
November 10, 2007 White vs Black Red vs Gold
November 17, 2007 White vs Red Black vs Gold
November 24, 2007 Black vs Red White vs Gold
December 1, 2007 Gold vs Red White vs Black
December 8, 2007 Gold vs White Red vs Black
December 15, 2007 Red vs White Gold vs Black
December 22, 2007 Black vs White Gold vs Red

PHL Lottery

Team Captains have concluded that the Lottery will be delayed. Captains will endeavour to make each game "close" by replacing missing players with spares of equal caliber. Failure of games to be "close" will result in the implementation of the "Lottery".

Week Two - League Update

Those that Pay Play!!

White Team

8 - have paid in full
1 - has submitted partial payment
3 - have not yet submitted the required $$$

Yellow Team

2 - have paid in full
6 - have submitted partial payment
3 - have not yet submitted the required $$$

Black Team

2 - have paid in full
4 - have submitted partial payment
5 - have not yet submitted the required $$$

Red Team

6 - have paid in full
3 - have submitted partial payment
2 - have not yet submitted the required $$$


There are 13 spots available (those that have not paid) with 18 players looking for full time positions.

Simply said the next 13 to pay play. We will not be holding spots without $$$.

Goaltender Update

We have secured four goaltenders.

Mike G. with Red
Sean D. with Black
Chris G. with White
Glen B. with Yellow

We also have a spare list that will be issued to those above. Goalies are asked to find a replacement from the list of spares first so that new spares can become familiar with the league.

Nice Night for a BBQ

Never tell a woman she doesn't know how to barbecque!

Team Report - Black

Black, similar to Red in having streaks of great play but the attendance issue seems to have been their biggest issue. Not returning this year are Brian C. Lorne P. Don V. Fitzroy R. and Michel B. Joining them this year will be Sean M. and Eli G. Filling the void left in nets will be Sean D.

Team Composition

Denis B.
James C.
Sean D.
Mike I.
Andre M.
Sean M.
Mike P.
Marius R.
Brian S. (aka EL Capitan)
Eli G.

There is currently 10 players listed with one spot left unaccounted for, this will be filled in short order.

Team Report - Red

Red, although being perceived as being the stongest this team goes is streeky playing well for stretches and then terrible for even longer stretches. Players not returning are Dwayne T. Dan D. Adam C. and Mark T.

Jeff M. and Jean G. have joined this team. Mike G. will be backstopping this crew this year.

Team Composition

Stephane C.
Jean G.
Mike G.
Bill K.
Bill K.
Rob L. aka (howareya)
William L. aka (hammer woo)
Jean L.
Brian L.
Jeff M.

This team has 10 participants - changes to come.

Toronto High School Exan

Concerned about the failing levels of achievement in the high schools of
Toronto, the Toronto District School Board has directed teachers to adjust
their lessons to reflect on the unique cultural mosaic of the classrooms
and current standards of Toronto society.



Toronto High School Math Exam

NAME:___________________ NICK-NAME:______________
GANG:_____________________

1. Sandhar has half a kilo of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Ranjit for $300 and 90 grams to Avtar for $90 a gram, what is the street value of he rest of his hold?

2. Tyrone pimps 3 whores. If the price is $40 a trick, how many tricks per day must each whore perform to support Tyrone's $500 a day crack habit?

3. Lo Ping wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for $7000 to make 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?

4. Tony got 4 years for murder. He also received $350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends $33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? (Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Tony get for killing the bitch that spent his money?)

5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the average letter is 1 square meter, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?

6. Kwok steals Hareem's skateboard. As Kwok skates away at a speed of 35 kph, Hareem loads his brother's piece. If it takes Hareem 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Kwok have travelled when he gets whacked?

Look Around the Office

Married for one night

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM , the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own f*ckin blanket!" After a moment of silence, he farted.

Team Report - White

White, although being probably the oldest team of the four they sure do look good. Players not returning are Shawn D. Peter G. and Chris S. who suffered a knee injury late last November and may be ready to play around the same time this year. Gilbert B. has joined this team lowering the average age. Their goalie Chris alters the team average age only slightly.

Team Composition

Geordie A.
Gilbert B.
Ed B.
Chris x.
Ducky C.
Rob H.
Kevin M.
Larry M.
Michel P.
John S.
Grant T.
Wayne W.

For those that looked closely see that this team has 12 participants - there will be some changes here.

League Filling Up - $$$

The league is filling up with 11 players paying in full and 4 players paying the first half. Please keep in mind that there are lots of players wanting to get into the league. Therefore the first 4o skaters and 4 goalies that pay will have the spots secured. Unfortunately some of you may be on the outside looking in. If you pay in the first two weeks the cost is $310. If you want to pay half now and half later that will cost $320. We need that first half payment $160 this week September 15th and the second half will be due before Christmas.

Reminder the first 44 to pay - play!!!!!!

Team Report - Yellow

Looks like this group has the most returning players with only Dave B. not into the fold for 07/08. Terry B. has been invited to join this team. Welcome aboard Terry.

Team Composition
Terry B.
Glen B.
Richard F.
Don F.
Dave L.
Michel L. aka Cheech
Jim L.
Steve M.
Kent M.
Tom T.
Sonny W.

GOC - GCWCC Hockey Tournament

September 24 to 28 @ Bell Sensplex
Games scheduled between 8 am and 5 pm.
3 games guaranteed with a maximum of 5
$70 per player
Participants have to have an email address ending with GC.CA

Need to know before noon on Monday September 10th 2007

link http://www.bellsensplex.ca/tournaments/details.aro?tID=140

Thanks

Goaltending

We are two goalies short to begin the season. Should you know of anyone interested please let us know as soon as possible.

Update Friday Sept 7, 07

Last minute email rec'd and we are now down to one goalie returning from last year. Tomorrow will be the first day for the other three new guys.

Thanks Adam and Michel for your help in the past.

Black Team Captain

Brian S. has agreed to be acting Black Team Captain.

Good Luck Brian and thanks for stepping forward!!!

Week One

September 8th, 2007
@ Noon Red vs Yellow
@ One White vs Black

Play on the team you finished the season with last year unless you are instructed differently.

Gentlemen if you know in advance that you can't make it let me know as we have spares wishing to play. For the first few weeks please make every effort to comply well in advance.

Cost due ASAP
$310 per skater ($320 if you pay in two installment - 1/2 due by week two and balance before Christmas)
$50 per goalie (new this year non-refundable)

There are a few of you that still owe moneys from last year, this must be paid before you step on the ice. Your captain will be in touch with you on this subject.

Thanks